Upon waking up, tears in the eyes are rarely something a person expects. It is, however, more common than one realizes when they wake up crying in your sleep. They don’t even remember the fact that they cried or the reason behind it; that’s what makes it even more confusing.

Once or even twice, it can be ignored, but when this becomes frequent, the doubt isn’t surprising because a person cries when they are sad, a feeling that is closely associated with depression.

Waking up with tears can be due to several reasons. Whether you are stressed, your emotional well-being and physical health, they all can be contributing factors. Is crying in your sleep a sign of depression?

It is a matter that is globally argued upon but not agreed upon, meaning, your crying may or may not be related to depression. What’s clear is that weeping alone is not a recognized symptom of depression. Other things need to be considered to label your condition as depression.

One reason why crying is possibly not seen as a definite symptom of depression is gender bias. Some societies have long stereotyped crying, a biological mechanism to release pent-up emotions, as a uniquely female response, while men are expected to endure their struggles without complaining or showing any emotion.

Hence, it is argued by some that including crying as a sign of depression can introduce bias in the assessment of the disorder because men may react with other emotions. They can be aggressive instead of crying.

This societal expectation that often forces individuals to mask their vulnerabilities when they’re awake needs an outlet. The walls that you create during the day naturally fall when you are unconscious at night. This is when the brain processes all the unsaid with no filter.

To understand why your tears appear in the dark, you have to look beyond the lens of a single medical condition and in what other ways depression affects you, so that you know if and when you need actual help.

Table of Contents

Why do people cry in their sleep?

From processing any emotion and memories to clearing toxins, your brain actively functions while you are asleep. If you are stressed during the daytime, you carry that into your sleep and it can appear through dreams or nightmares that can cause you to cry.

Nocturnal panic is a phenomenon in which an individual wakes up abruptly from their sleep, panicking with no clear trigger. Other symptoms of anxiety, like palpitations, sweating, nausea and chest pain, among others, can be noticed. The emotionally overwhelming experience can make some individuals wake up emotionally shaken or even crying.

Related to stress and panic are nightmares that primarily occur during the rapid eye movement (REM) sleep. The amygdala, the main center for processing emotions, is as active during REM as during the day, but without the equal participation of the prefrontal cortex (PFC). Because the PFC, responsible for rational functions like decision making, is not as active at night as during the day, the nightmares you experience feel so real and you can find yourself awake with wet cheeks.

These nightmares are particularly intense for those with trauma or post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Usually, noradrenaline, a stress hormone, is present at a low level during the REM stage, but for individuals with PTSD, the noradrenaline levels are relatively higher. This is why the nightmares they experience are highly realistic reenactments of their actual trauma. Their brain perceives the threat as happening in real time and the individual responds with not just crying, but sweating and panicking as well.

The REM stage is longer in depressed people than in others and because the barriers of the PFC are not as effective, the emotional processing can manifest with physical signs like crying when you are sleeping. However, since the cause may be confusing, looking at how depression affects you can help you recognize if it’s depression or some other reason.

What are the effects of depression?

The National Center for Biotechnology Information defines depression as “a mood disorder” that involves a prolonged feeling of sadness and absence of interest. If you cry once or twice in your sleep and carry on with ease the next morning, maybe it is not depression and more likely stress or another thing that is upsetting you. If crying in your sleep is due to depression, there will be other signs as well, like:

Problems with sleeping
Losing interest
Feeling guilty or worthless
Lack of energy
Trouble concentrating
Changes in weight or eating habits
Slowness in speech
Self-harm thoughts
Low mood

Interestingly, recent research has found that the relation between crying in your sleep and a depressed person is not much different from that of a non depressed person. Some individuals, in fact, find themselves unable to cry. Clinically, this state is known as emotional context insensitivity, which causes a numbing effect on the person’s emotions because they are disengaged with their environment, whether positive or negative.

These findings ultimately show that depression is not predictable. It is not a one-size-fits-all condition. Since waking up with wet eyes can be unsettling, particularly when you do not know the reason, this raises an important question: Is it normal to cry in your sleep?

Is it normal to cry in your sleep?

By now, you have a fair understanding of why a person cries in their sleep. Still, whether crying in your sleep is a sign of depression or not is not always easy to figure out on your own. A mental health professional, like an online psychiatrist, can help, whom you should consider reaching out to if:

You are frequently crying in your sleep
You are often waking up distressed or exhausted
You are having nightmares
You experience signs of depression for at least two weeks
You are having difficulty sleeping
Lack of crying in your sleep is affecting your daily life
You are withdrawing socially
You are having thoughts of self-harm

The pattern surrounding your crying in your sleep matters more than tears alone to know if your emotional response is temporary or a sign that you need support.

Understanding the unclear

Ignoring emotional discomfort seems simple until it makes its way into what you assume to be important. Subtle signs like unending fatigue or distancing yourself from others can be easy to dismiss as “normal” with excuses like a busy lifestyle or growing up. Only once the brain has the time to process it all, what you feel deep within surfaces.

It is not that every time you shed tears there is something terribly wrong. No. It is only human to respond emotionally when you are stressed, grieving or afraid. The problem is when you leave your emotions unaddressed for long enough to consume your thoughts and everything else you do.

Seeking help then is not an overreaction. Mental health support and depression treatment are not only reserved for moments of crisis. They are available anytime you think you need help or even for clarity. Understanding yourself and your emotions becomes less complicated when you have the guidance of a professional.